writing reminds me how i’m so clueless (life update #2)

Hey, Hi, Hello.

Thanks for clicking 🙂

I have some fairly eventful life updates since my last one, and so want to get right into it.

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So I’m, like, a serious writer now, okay?
Yes, thank you thank you – please hold the applause.

But seriously – recently, I have begun to really commit myself to the whole experience of writing and living as a writer does.
Why now? What changed?
Maybe it relates back to my improved state of mind lately (feeling better allows me to commit more fully to the craft of writing), or perhaps instead my writing practice is helping me feel better and to keep going.
Maybe both?

Either way, I wanted to share some of the personal success I have been finding in my life as a writer – both because I think it can be an encouragement to you, the reader, and because I’m legitimately curious for comments about your own progress of late.

So here is some more “archie writes” news:

  • I moved!
    As a quick recap, I grew up nearby Stratford, Ontario, Canada, until about the age of 18 when I moved to Guelph, Ontario to live there for about 7 years. A few years ago, I moved out west to live in Victoria, British Columbia, and most recently, in the last month, have now resettled into a little town called Iqaluit, Nunavut.
  • I am working as a legit freelance writer now – getting paid good money & everything. Wow, I know, right?
    I write stories in a choose-your-own-adventure format for children as apart of an extra-circular program designed to teach kids about financial literacy. 
  • I won an award! *blushes*
    Radiant Crown Publishing awarded me a small scholarship in recognition of my art, specifically, writings about subversive stories and diverse genre fiction.
    And there is a short interview with me on their site, so check it out, please!
  • I decided too that, in the spirit of NanoWriMo (the online community of writers who attempt to write an entire novel in the month of November), I will begin to make a more committed effort to posting on this blog.
    I just looked at my past posts and realized I have been posting just about once a month, which is fine but not great in my opinion.
    So I will change that now, by posting more regularly, maybe even once a week!
    And to prove that, I have updated the Resources page on this blog with a growing list of my favourite links around the world wide web.
    Enjoy!
  • And last but not least, let me tell you that I have begun writing morning pages.
    I will explain more of that practice in another post, but essentially, it is free-writing 3 full pages by hand on a notebook, every single day.
    It is a brain dump, where you don’t stop to correct yourself or fix your sloppy writing, but just go non-stop until you have written 3 full pages of paper. It is a good discipline for anyone, of any profession or lifestyle, to develop. For myself, beyond getting me writing more often with consistency, it is helping me reflect on my life. I turned 28 recently, and though I have never been big on birthdays, I am appreciating that I have lived quite a long time now – far more than a lot of people ever have the privilege to live on this planet. Not only that but, as I write about what’s on my mind with these morning pages, I continue to unpack a lot of the emotional baggage within me and my memories. 
    And in the interests of keeping this post brief, let me just say that so far my journalling has revealed something:
    I am totally clueless.
    Now, I don’t say that in any self-disparaging way, but rather with some sense of relief, if you can believe it. Like really, in many ways, this is a stellar quality for any creator, artist, writer.I have known that in my present day-to-day, I can be fairly unobservant of things that most people consider obvious (social cues, for example, like that whole passive-aggressive behaviour, of using sarcasm and other gestures to communicate judgement and disdain through non-verbal subtleties? NEVER pick up on that).
    But no, what I am talking about here, what my morning pages have shown me, is that by forcing me to write out some of my memories across these 28 years, I have realized how much I now disagree with my original interpretation of what happened – like, my first-round takeaways from a past experience is just… false.
    Weird, I know, but lemme finish.Okay, so, there I am writing about my best friends in grade school, or about those terrible cringe memories of high school or that hella vague memory with a sibling that I cannot match with a place or time. And I am writing and writing, describing details and how I remember feeling then, and how it makes me feel right now, and then, slowly but surely, it dawns on me that my version of it is sorely incomplete, inconsistent, if not outright inaccurate.
    It is like watching a movie you have not seen in many years, and you’re like “wait, this is not what I remember it being like…” — watch some favourites of yours from childhood, and in most cases, you’ll be like “wait, this is terrible!”.
    Darn nostalgia.Why does this happen?
    Maybe it is about having more wisdom now versus back then, or maybe it is looking at something without so much emotional investment?
    I am learning just how much I failed to consider a more honest and whole portrayal of my life experiences, and this brings a whole wave of “well if I had this wrong, then WHY do I still carry so much ______ (grief, anger, shame, pride, bitterness, etc.)?” Sure, I reacted like I did and felt the way I did in that memory or this memory, but now I feel… so different. 

    All I know for sure is that when I take the time to really write out a classic memory in my head – and not just relying on unexamined cliff-notes in my head – it shows me that I can change my interpretation and that’s okay. 
    Writing out these memories consistently reminds me how – because I am NOT the centre of the world (despite this being how we all experience life, as an “I”) and because other people are NOT thinking about me at all times when making decisions, saying and feeling things – it seems not only natural but seriously essential that I revise my recollection of the past.

    So I do just that, and each time I get more comfortable with a fluid history of Me.

    At first, I worried, wondering how could I have been SO CLUELESS back then?
    But now, I feel less bothered by these revelations and am more curious about what that means for me right now – or, I find myself asking: HOW does change of my past versions of myself change who I am now, and what I carry with me into the future?
    And more importantly, and rhetorically speaking, how can this shedding of old ideas, about myself and others, NOT be a good thing?

Okay – that’s about all for now.

Tell me about what you have been up to of late – introduce yourself if we have not yet had the pleasure of making each other’s acquaintance.

Thanks for reading & keep daydreaming ❤

archie.

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